continuing on a different island

I kept the weight off for a while. But on guam they have Philipino food. I don't know if you are a fan favorite of Philipino food but I am. Red rice, lumpia, pancit....bread puddings galore. I ate myself back up to a hefty 183 pounds. So I was living on this beautiful tropical island and too fat to want to be seen in a bikini. I saw a picture of myself at a friends baby shower and I looked like a stuffed sausage in my clothes. I was going to church regularly by then. I heard about this Christian Weight loss program called the Weigh Down diet. So I decided to give it a try. I sponsored a class with some other ladies. The whole idea behind it is you eat when you are hungry, stop when you are not, and Pray if you get cravings in between. God created all foods, so all foods were good if you ate them in moderation. I liked that diet. And I did a really good job on it. I lost 32 pounds over the course of the program. I was hardly eating. I got stuck though. After a while no more weight would come off. I was at 151 pounds and no amount of walking, bike riding, or aerobics was getting me anywhere. So there I was. I was having marital problems, which is always bad news when you are already a person with weight issues. Then my husband went to Kuwait. I decided that I was going to try something drastic that a guy at our gym recommended. Xenadrine. It worked very well, though it made my heart race and gave me headaches. I stayed very busy, cleaning and exercising. I worked out two or three times a day and could be caught on chairs cleaning windows for no good reason except that I didnt know what else to do with myself.

The journey

So, when I started working out I weighed in at 189 lbs. I was 23 years old by then. I decided to do what we all do when starting out. I started walking 3 miles a day, five days a week. I ate low fat and low calorie. I was miserable, but I started losing weight. I think I lost 13 pounds doing that. Then a roadblock. My daughter got let out of school for winter break. During that two weeks I couldn't walk like I had been and it was the holidays (I know excuses excuses). I gained 7 pounds in short order. Then I read about my miracle diet. The low carb diet. I could eat all the fat and meat and cheese I wanted? Whoo Hoo! So I ate it. And I lost 23 pounds. I was sooo excited. Then we moved to Guam.

Continuing the saga

So, when we last chatted I was 18 and had just had my husband walk out on me and weighed about 188 lbs. I moved back home and managed to drop 10 pounds pretty quick. But there I stayed for years. I had finally decided I wanted to join the military when I was 20. The only way to do that was to lose weight...about 40 lbs. So I started getting up in the freezing cold (my version of freezing was 20 some-odd degrees), and going for 3 mile walks in the mornings. I had lost about ten pounds when I met my second husband and decided to get married. He was already in the military so I didnt need to join. I lost a couple more pounds but got pregnant again when I weighed about 160. I was pretty careful during the pregnancy. I read the books on how to eat nutritionally sound and how to pack all the nutrients I could into the fewest calories. So basically I ate some pretty nasty tasting food. But I only gained 19.5 lbs. I delivered my daughter and lost all the weight I'd gained within a couple of weeks. YAY! Except over the course of the next year I gained it all back, plus an extra 10. I didn't notice somehow that I had gained weight. I thought I looked pretty good. I took my daughter to a friends daughters bday one day and got an evil wake up call. She had the full spread. Chips and dips, little smokies in bbq sauce, crackers, meat and cheese...all those lovely finger foods. I ate my way happily around the table and then excused myself to use the bathroom. Well, I didnt have a scale at home. But she did. I thought "hmm...I should weigh myself." and I hopped up on that scale. And jumped back off like it had bit me. Then I stepped cautiously back on it and the numbers confirmed themselves. 191 lbs. Wow! I was in shock. I came back out of the bathroom and did not eat or drink another thing while I was there. No cake, no ice cream. I went home that night and cried. Then I decided I was going to lose the weight and that was that! On monday I went up to the clinic and officially weighed myself (after I weighed my clothes and shoes at home and of course pee'd to make sure I was as light as possible. I weighed in at 189 that day. That was the first day of the rest of this journey.

So, this is my first attempt at blogging. I have a lot on my mind most of the time and am never sure how to get it all out. Blogging seems like the path to take. I, like most women I know, have been having a bit of a problem for years. I first gained a little weight when I was 11. This was a problem for my mother who thought I was getting too fat and needed to be on a diet. At thirteen I put myself on a diet. From 123 to 113 in about a month. No one seemed to notice until I almost passed out in gym class. Thus began the cycle. I grew up with big women in my family. My Mom was overweight, her Mom, most of her sisters. In high school I walked to school, took gym class, weight training, I rode my bike. All of that barely kept me in a size 8. Next to my skinny friends I looked like a horse. Then, I got brilliant and married at 16. Not my shiniest moment but lets not focus on that. When I got pregnant five months later the trouble started. Now I was 17 and very round. I gained about 40 pounds with my oldest daughter. I lost it of course right after and I was so excited. Until it started coming back on. By the time she was one I weighed 9 pounds more than I had when I delivered her. Her Dad, my high school sweetheart, was of course repulsed by my weight and when he walked out one of his main reasons was my looks. I can't blame him I suppose, but it was sure hurtful at the time.................